Here they are... a heapin helpin of homely
honeys.
If they awarded degrees for natural-born ugliness,
Darlene here would receive a PhD. When Darlene was born, they decided
to put tinted glass on her incubator. Of her unquestionable ugliness,
Darlene modestly states, "Some girls has just got it I reckon."
Can you believe it? Jailed for being ugly! Ugliness is
a crime in some states. When she gets out, Twyla plans to move to
West Virginia.
Arlene here tells us that when she was a youngster her parents
decided since she was so ugly she could only go trick or treating over the
phone. She was recently voted ugliest woman in 12 counties. Say what you will,
but I think she's kind of cute.
Ugly and proud of it. Emma Jean here has won the Taylortown
Ugly Contest 17 years straight.
All I can say is, it's a good thing Annie Mae here doesn't
live in Emma Jean's town. She would give her a run for her money.
Besides, that's way too much ugly for any one place.
A face only a father could love. In fact, Brenda Belle and
her father are planning to get married in June, soon after the arrival of
their third child.
Ambrosia here was voted by her classmates most likely to
induce vomiting.
Goober Jean here was a bit camera shy and wouldn't look into the lens.
Consequently, we're not able to show you her most striking features: her eyes,
the blue one AND the brown one.
Anita here is single. She's looking for that special fella
who is man enough for her. Wanna take a walk on her wild side?
A personal note: The ugliness depicted here is fake.
This is just an attempt at humor. I don't say these things to be mean-
spirited. Real ugliness is the way we act outwardly toward unattractive people.
I personally think the shallow infatuation we have with beautiful women is fueled
and perpetuated by the mass media, and we are merely victims of the aesthetic
parade fed to us ad nauseum by magazines, films, and television.
So, to all ugly women who see this page, don't kill me.